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A New Era

If one were to break up life into multiple chapters, my life has entered a new phase. So much change has taken place over the past year that I cannot help but see this as a new era. Those changes include having my eldest son move away to college, finishing grad school, ending my seven year stint working with computers at University of Chicago, and starting my new counseling career.  Most importantly, I regained the sanctity of my home so that I can recharge each night in peace.  I feel optimistic that I will make the most of this new era of life. Much of the chapter remains unwritten.  I feel excited by the possibilities and different directions that I can go.  I have faith that I can create a life filled with joy, connection, and growth. I am sure that challenges will arise and that I will take them in stride or freak out temporarily until I move through them.  My goal is to refine my beliefs and perspectives and define what the eternal goddess and god mean to me. I cannot wait to s
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Be the change you seek

It has been many moons since I posted on the Godly Atheist blog. Blogging is one of my passions that waxes and wanes depending on my mood. Why start again?  My views change over time regarding religion, faith, and the spiritually, or the lack there of.  I want to write from my current perspective.  I long for connection to something larger than myself. I seek solidarity that energizes me to be a force of compassionate change in the world. There is a lot of bullshit going on in in U.S. politics with the new regime change. (Politics is another passion of mine). In addition, I face my own challenges and transitions that require courage and action. My belief in the ever-loving god of my youth has disappeared.  Even so, a number of biblical stories circulated in my mind.  I remember the story of Job who remained faithful to god despite losing his family and all that he cherished. Perhaps he was a fool.  I have faith in community, especially my friends, family, coworkers, and fellow Un
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Christian Light or Colin'ism

How do I respond when confronted by a friend who is heavily steeped in the Christian faith?  I often take the soft approach and share how I attended Catholic Church growing up and later changed to Unitarian Universalist  (UU) church. I embrace many Christian values such as love your neighbor, avoid lying and stealing, and help the needy. Hell, I even buy into turning the other cheek when someone slaps me. My beliefs start to veer away from traditional Christianity when asked about the afterlife. My soft answer goes something like: “Heaven and hell are states of mind that we experience during life. We can cultivate a heavenly, peaceful, and loving existence. On the other hand, life can be horrible, sad, cruel, and lonely. Once our body dies, our mind ceases to exist.”  I admit, this is not very comforting, and extinguishes the hope of seeing our dead, loved ones in the afterlife. (All we have are memories.) My ability to remain Christian light gets even more difficult when asked if I b
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The Death of a Good Friend's Mother

A close friend texts me and tells me that his mother’s health took a turn for the worse and she has a few days to live, instead of a few weeks or months that the doctors originally predicted. I feel sad when I hear this. On one level, I feel the pain of my friend who has to say goodbye to his mom.  They were very close.  She raised him as a single parent for many years and he was an only child. A connection like that lasts a lifetime and brings great joy and comfort to both parties. On another level, I remember the close bond that I had with my mother for the first 34 years of my life. She died in 2002 and I continue to miss her. Living without my mom in my life has gotten easier but I still reach out for her in my mind when I want comfort or someone that I can pour my heart out to.  I love you, Mom. Last night, I receive a call that my friend's mom died.  The sadness swells within me as I think of my friend and remember the warmth and love that his mom offered to him and
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Random thought in the Dark of Night

Tonight was one of those nights when I was riding my bike down the dark streets of suburbia and I thought to myself, "screw being good."  I spent much of my life trying to be a nice person.  The includes saying nice things to other people, helping out whenever I can, and taking the high road whenever possible. It doesn't seem to get me much.  I've made some friends, which is a plus.  Some friends like to talk a lot and I listen.  Other friends will listen to me rant about this, that or the other. The point is, if I'm going to stick to this whole good vs. evil paradigm, why not choose evil for awhile. I do not mean evil in a "hurt people or other creatures" kind of way. People will get hurt when I am nice or mean. By evil, I mean embracing the physical world and all it has to offer.  Eat good food, enjoy nice possessions,  and engage in gratuitous sex. It sounds alright to me. I realize that all the rules that I have in my head were handed down from my pa
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Taking White Male Privilege for Granted

One of my core beliefs is that all people are precious and should be valued. We are brothers and sisters regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, education, power, and wealth. That is easy to say, especially since I sit on the top of the American food chain of privilege. That is not entirely true. I am not wealthy and yet I do not go hungry. I do not wield much power outside of a few small spheres in my life. I am an educated, caucasian, heterosexual male. I began to understand what that means by comparing my life to others groups that I studied in my summer psychology course. I read about what it means to be female, African-American, LGBT, older, impoverished, and an immigrant in the United States. Learning about the challenges that these groups face only begins to scratch the surface of understanding. If I have not walked in your shoes then I will have a limited understanding of your life and how you fit into this puzzle of society. I have experienced marriage and divorce. I
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Are you one of the good ones or bad ones?

A few years back, I worked on a project for my career counseling class.  One of my team members practiced as a Christian counselor. We drove home together from a project meeting and started talking about religion and Christianity.  I went on at length to explain that I stopped following the Christian religion, largely do to a segment of Christians (conservative, fundamentalist, hateful, and holier than though). My friend then explained to me that their are good, loving Christians and then there are the spiritual posers (my term, not hers). The spiritual posers walk and talk like Christians but instead of turning the other cheek, they are more likely to throw the Bible at you.  I liked my classmates explanation.  I want to avoid grouping all Christian on account  a few unwieldy and loud thumpers.  I told myself that if I were a Christian, then I would be one of the good ones (loving, justice-seeking, compassionate).  Who is holier than though now? I admit that I want to avoid mean peo
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